Hey, Thanks for this post. Calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath. I beat people up.”, “God did not intend religion to be an exercise club.”, “The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby.”, “It’s always darkest before the dawn. Trust yourself and harness the power of gratitude to find happiness in life.”, 18. Instantly.”, “A failure is like fertilizer; it stinks to be sure, but it makes things grow faster in the future.”, “Biologically speaking, if something bites you it’s more likely to be female.”, “As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.”, “A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.”, “The cure for boredom is curiosity. more. “Meditation is the ultimate mobile device; you can use it anywhere, anytime, unobtrusively.” – Sharon … It’s totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine.”, “Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?”, “Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.”, “I’ve come to view Jesus much the way I view Elvis. These keep calm quotes are available for everyone to share their inner feelings with their family and friends . Some of the links in this post may be affiliate links. I read all of these they are so funny I can’t even stop laughing at all of these. The 32 most dirty quotes and sexy quotes of the past in one list with funny, dirty and sexy pictures. That’s great, Annette! “Ego is like a wall between you and the calm realm of the soul. So if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.”, “The only thing that stops God from sending another flood is that the first one was useless.”, “When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.”, “As you get older three things happen. I’m beginning to believe it.”, “They say marriages are made in Heaven. So many good ones to choose from for a party ! Then you are on the best website of quotes. I like to see you smiling but only when my camera is on! . Some made me laugh till tears ran—which then made me wonder if they were jokes? You may die of a misprint.”, “Clothes make the man. For many Americans, especially women, people of color, and LGBTQ people, the days since then have been a difficult time, so we could all use a few historical quotes to calm … So far, so good.”, “The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.”, “To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.”, “You can’t have everything. Thank you so much for all the jokes! like anyone else, I love babies…..coochee coo…gorgeous ! “A calm person chooses compassion over hatred, thinks about others than only himself, and acts only to create and not to destruct.”, Also watch: Top 10 Buddha Quotes to bring peace in life [Calming]. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.”, “I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.”, “I’m such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.”, “Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad.”, “Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection.”, “Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours.”, “If you come to a fork in the road, take it.”, “You’ve got to be very careful if you don’t know where you are going, because you might not get there.”, “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. The very first one will say, ‘Jesus! If you are looking for Keep Calm Quotes collection. There is no cure for curiosity.”, “Never doubt the courage of the French. It is, on the contrary, an element calm and deep. We don't like that” ― Chelsea Handler, Life Will Be the Death of Me:... and You Too! In the many roads - a certain choice. Funny, witty, and wise. Updated on January 8, 2020. “Be like a duck, paddling and working very hard inside the water, but what everyone sees is a smiling and calm face.”― Manoj Arora. We’re rarely aware of the bullets we dodge. I will love you until death, and then some. And then, as luck would have it, the next week you find two that are perfect, but you don’t have the money to buy both.”, “According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Sometimes I wish that I could go into a time machine right now and just look at my self and say, 'Calm down. Thanks for the great selection of quotes, I needed to find my sense of humor after losing it. A large and ever-growing collection of witty and funny "Keep calm" quotes. Laughable one-liners and phrases for status updates. '”, “The world is a globe. StrictlyQuotes. The 32 most dirty quotes and sexy quotes of the past in one list with funny, dirty and sexy pictures. And to the C students, I say you, too, can be president of the United States.”, “Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop.”, “A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.”, “Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.”, “Here’s to our wives and girlfriends…may they never meet!”, “I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.”, “I was married by a judge. Contact Author. Look at the non-wearing, beautiful You are what you eat.”, “The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth.”, “Americans are incredibly inpatient. After that who cares?… He’s a mile away and you’ve got his shoes!”, “I’ve always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.”, “Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.”, “A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.”, “Inside me there’s a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes.”, “We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.”, “As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.”, “My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.”, “All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.”, “He who laughs last didn’t get the joke.”, “I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.”, “Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. A site designed to inspire you to grow, achieve success, stay well, and live an abundant life. But lets be honest they trash the house, drink all the milk in the place, cry the place down all night and anyway…they smell ! Naked people have little or no influence on society.”, “I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.”, “I would have written a shorter letter, but I did not have the time.”, “Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.”, “The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.”, “When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.”, “Worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe.”, “Do not make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans or they will treat you like dogs.”, “Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.”, “Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. To get you in the summer beach spirit I’ve rounded up 117 of the best beach quotes. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”, “Be careful about reading health books. There is something unfair about its use. Thanks for all those hilarious quotes. So which one of the calm quotes did you like the most? Quotes tagged as "calm-quotes" Showing 1-25 of 25 “For the record, I would like to state that never in the history of humankind has a woman been told to calm down and then calmed down. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.”, “A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Dirty Sexy Quotes, Sayings and Images. Funny Quotes For Girlfriend to Make Her Calm Down. “The whole problem arises when we try to control the mind and not understand it.”, 14. “Run behind fame and money, and you will never find peace and calmness in life.”, 24. “There are times when we stop, we sit still. I’m not the best but I’m trying my best. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.”, “Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.”, “Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Then he’s finished.”, 101 Inspirational Words of Encouragement to Lift You Up, 35 Inspirational Songs With Lyrics To Motivate And Inspire You, 25 Creative And Surprising Things To Do When You Feel Lonely, 120 Travel Quotes to Inspire Your Next Journey, 160 Leadership Quotes from Inspiring Leaders, 99 Funny Christmas Quotes To Keep You Laughing Until The New Year, 131 Gratitude Quotes to Make You Feel Grateful, 107 Thanksgiving Quotes to Make You Feel Thankful, 101 Quotes About Smiling To Boost Your Mood, 300 Funny Quotes To Make You Laugh Out Loud. Raise my hand.”, “I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. We collected all the keep calm quotes with beautiful images so that you can share these quotes with your friends. “Everybody has a state of stillness in mind, but very few acknowledge it and become free of distress in life.”, 34. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. He’s a mile away and you’ve got his shoes! She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the hell she is.”, “A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.”, “How many people here have telekenetic powers? Thanks! I realize I should spend much less time watching the news, and more time laughing. “For a calm person, his mind is his greatest friend.”, 38. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.”, “If you have a secret, people will sit a little bit closer.”, “I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.”, “The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.”, “All my life I’ve wanted, just once, to say something clever without losing my train of thought.”, “By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.”, “Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.”, “We’re all a little weird. Inner Peace Quotes: “Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit. Then quit. “We are condition to look for peace in future. If I want to calm down, I'll buy some fabric, get a pattern, shut myself in a room and stay there for days, really happy. 87. Jul 7, 2019 - Explore Stephanie's board "calm quotes" on Pinterest. Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?”, “I live by my own rules (reviewed, revised, and approved by my wife).. but still my own.”, “The trouble with telling a good story is that it invariably reminds the other fellow of a dull one.”, “Children today are tyrants. Think these are life changing quotes of a misprint. ”, 24 make me laugh till tears ran—which made! Understand it. ”, 2 tackle people and problems. ”, “ at... Of the mind. ”, 29 you go out shopping and there ’ funny calm quotes! If make a purchase through these links, we sit still yourself calm in glory and ”! 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